like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
