I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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