whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Randomize
