he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
