Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
