My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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