Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
