I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
