Small penises have feelings too.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
