is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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