Having a random hookup so left but love u
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
