moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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