Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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