Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
