i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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