we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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