i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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