The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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