How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
