you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
