I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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