the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
