if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
