Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
