its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
