I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
