You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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