Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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