My brain says no but my pants say off.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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