i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
