My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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