just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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