Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
