Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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