He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize