Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
