i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Jerry, you need to find god
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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