you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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