do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
