I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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