I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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