Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my nose is crying tears of wow.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
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