told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
