Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
