So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dick very happy bro
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
