Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
