i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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