a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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