you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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