OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
