I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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