it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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