I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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