can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
