ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
