Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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