Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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