Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He felt like a one man threesome
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize