ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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