News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize